North Korea, Best Korea!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
