My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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