You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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