You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
