so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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