just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
