Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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