Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Operation Purity has been aborted
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
