I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
