Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize