I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
