p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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