the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
