I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
