I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
