your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize