i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
