i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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