i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
