Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
