overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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