soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
