it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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