as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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