GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
