She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
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