so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
