Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
