I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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