there was a trapeze. enough said
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
