this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize