Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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