i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think people are normalizing furries
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
