So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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