Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
