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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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