I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
