Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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