HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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