anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
