shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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