Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
