we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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