It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
