Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
