Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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