So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
