Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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