I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
