I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
