One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
