I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
