I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize