I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
