I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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