but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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